dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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