I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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