I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize