yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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