Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
