But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
