we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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