I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
