He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
