How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
