Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
