So drunk its hurt
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize