i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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