I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
