Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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