sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
