It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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