Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
