i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
