who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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