Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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