she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize