so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
