I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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