Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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