I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
