I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize