Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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