I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
