Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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