Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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