does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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