I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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