next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
