New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize