i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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