what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize