I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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