If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
4 words: hood of his car
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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