I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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