well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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