I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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