turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
