I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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