No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
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Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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