is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
