he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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