YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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