You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
