we're blogging at a bar
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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