i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
