It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
