Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm getting married
To pizza
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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