They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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