I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
