Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
