Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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