What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
